No Shave November: A Guide To Movember Scruff

November in L.A means it’s time to reach for the sweaters and hop on board with the rest of the country on fall fashions. It also means a full month in which putting down the razor is perfectly acceptable.  What’s that you say?  You have a “real job” and think you can’t get away with sporting some scruff? Sure you can, but there’s a right way and a wrong way.  We put together the perfect How To Guide for your Movember facial hair with an array of options appropriate in the corporate world, the dating world, plus what you should NEVER let grow on your face.

“The Corporate Crop”

Tom Ford

I think it’s safe to take advice from this guy. Tom Ford knows how to look good; he’s made a career out of it.  His beard is perfect for the office: close cropped to the face, short, yet stately and well shaped.  Bust out your trimmers to define the shape of the beard itself, starting from the top of the throat up to curve around your cheeks.

“The Face Bush”

Brian Wilson

Yeah, Brian Wilson is an amazing pitcher and baseball player and his facial hair precedes his reputation, but this isn’t an appropriate role model to look up to when searching for beard options. Unless you’re going for a full Paul Bunyan lumberjack look, stay away from this.  I hear he uses black shoe polish to darken it.  That’s a no-no, guys.


“The Douche Patch”/”The Pre Pubescent Patch”

Chris Daughtry, Apolo Ono

We’ve all heard the complaints, the pleas from our girlfriends these are bad, and the best image consultants begging us to shave them, and yeah, soul patches are still a bad idea.  Even if you are an Olympic ice skater, you still look like a douche if you have one of these growing under your bottom lip.

“Couch Crasher Casual”

Jake Gyllenhaal

Perfectly acceptable scruff when hanging out with buddies watching the game, or, depending on the lady, an appropriate amount for a date or romantic evening.  Some girls dig it.  This style works best with a baby face and boyish grin, so if you have it, flaunt it.

“The Hot Mess”

Brad Pitt

Do I even have to say it?

“The Dad ‘Stache”/”The Slim ‘n’ Trim”

Mustaches are tricky and you have to tread lightly.  Not every Tom, Dick, and Harry can pull these suckers off.  Too bushy can make you look like a creepy Dad, but too thin can make you look like you’re trying too hard.  Experiment on yourself and see what looks best if you want to be brave.  Let’s just take a minute to appreciate the Master Mustachier, Tom Selleck.

“The Silver Lake”

We love you Zach, but the beard… Well, it seems to be working in your favor.

Anyway, this or anything else that looks like you just rolled out of the Cha Cha in Silver Lake probably isn’t your best bet if you’re looking to score that promotion, or just plain score with the ladies who don’t ride bikes.

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